It is interesting to watch different people interact, from young to old and everywhere in-between. I was visiting a friend who has 3 children, 12, 7 & 4. I watched the interaction between Kyrie who is 4 years old and Layla, my friend. The 4 year old was playing with a real phone that was broken and pretending to call and text her boyfriends. (C=child; A=adult)
C: Oooo he texted me again! I wonder what he is gonna say this time.
A: What did he say?
C: He said that he he doesn't want to be the other girls boyfriend but is still mine.
A: He is dating you and another girl? That doesn't seem right.
C: Yes, its ok I have 3 boyfriends.
A: You have 3 boyfriends!! Why do you have 3? You should only have one. We only have 1 boyfriend at a time.
C: I dunno, i just wanted 3.
A: Thats quite a lot.... (child interrupts)
C: I got another text from my other boyfriend. I forgot his name.
A: How can you forget his name? What did he say?
C: Oh... ah... well its Luke. He said he wanted to take me to the carnival next week.
A: ooo carnivals are fun...
It was interesting to see what the 4 year old has learned from her older sister and nanny who is 20. The conversations showed the kinds of things that she has picked up that teens/young adults usually say and do. She is exposed to a variety of situations and conversations that are a little old for her. Kyrie has developed her own idea of how relationships work and what happens. She has interpreted what she hears and sees and created her own ideas without fully understanding the situation. I know this child very well, as I have known her family for 10 years. Based on her conceptions of 'relationships/dating' it makes me wonder how much of an impact all the princess videos she has watched has.
Layla follows along with Kyrie's pretend boyfriends situation and encourages her to continue with her 'game'. She asks questions and responds appropriately to the situation as if it was real. I would hope that by Layla correcting some of the aspects of dating that it will change Kyrie's thinking. Kyrie might be indifferent to it all.
There are times were I also play along with the pretend play and other times were I feel that it is not a pretend play that would enhance growth so i change the game and explain the context of the situation. There are times where I do not active listen to what a child is saying, that I just give a remote response and move on. That is also what i need to work on.
Rica thanks for sharing this I have a grandson (2) who sometimes will play the phone game based on conversations he has with his older sister (5). Yet the sister, when playing will share real life experiences of school life and/or what she is or has watched on tv. This just goes to show that in all aspects of our busy lives we need to be careful what we say and how we say it because children, regardless of their age, are picking up and repeating what they hear and see. Thanks for sharing.
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